Exceptional Dogs Are Created: Why Teaching Calm Is One of the Most Important Things You Can Train

Train "Calm" from day one...

When people see an exceptionally well-behaved dog, they often say something like:

“You’re so lucky. You got a good one.”

Genetics certainly help—especially when you start with a UK Field Golden Retriever.

We believe UK Field Goldens are by far one of the most intelligent and trainable types of dog we have ever worked with. Having owned and trained traditional show-line Golden Retrievers for many years before moving into UK working lines, I believe there is a massive difference in their level of intelligence, their willingness to learn and, importantly, the speed at which they work things out.

That intelligence can make them exceptionally easy to train when you know how to train them and are prepared to put in the work.

But exceptional dogs are rarely created by genetics alone.

Exceptional dogs are created.

They are created through thousands of small interactions. Through boundaries. Through repetition. Through consistency. Through exposure. Through teaching the dog what behaviour is expected—not only when everything is easy, but when the world around them becomes exciting, distracting or stressful.

And one of the most valuable skills we can teach any puppy is something that receives far less attention than sit, stay, recall or heel:

How to be calm.

Calmness Is a Skill

A common mistake in puppy raising is assuming that a puppy will naturally learn to settle as it gets older.

Some do.

Many don't.

Instead, owners spend enormous amounts of time teaching their puppy to do things.

Sit.

Come.

Fetch.

Walk.

Play.

Run.

Train.

Interact.

Explore.

But very little time is spent teaching the puppy how to do absolutely nothing.

That ability is incredibly important.

A well-trained dog shouldn't require constant entertainment.

It shouldn't need another dog to occupy it.

It shouldn't expect every person it sees to interact with it.

It shouldn't need a ball thrown continuously to feel satisfied.

And it shouldn't believe that every new environment is an invitation to become excited.

A dog should be capable of simply lying beside its owner and watching the world happen.

That is training.

Exercise Isn't the Same as Calm

One of the biggest misconceptions in dog ownership is:

“My dog has lots of energy, so I need to exercise it more.”

Exercise is important.

But exercise and emotional regulation are completely different things.

If every time a young dog becomes excited we respond by throwing a ball, going for a run or creating more stimulation, we can accidentally teach the dog:

Excitement = activity.

We may also create an extremely fit dog that still has no idea how to switch off.

You can physically exhaust a puppy without teaching it calmness.

In fact, overtired puppies can often become more difficult.

They may start:

• biting

• jumping

• zooming

• barking

• grabbing clothing

• pestering other dogs

• ignoring commands

• becoming increasingly frustrated

Parents recognise something similar in overtired children.

Sometimes the answer isn't more activity.

It's rest.

Puppies need an enormous amount of sleep and downtime while they're developing. Structured quiet periods are therefore just as important as structured training and appropriate exercise.

The Goal Isn't a Tired Dog

The goal should be a balanced dog.

We want a dog capable of going from:

activity → calm

excitement → calm

training → calm

visitors arriving → calm

another dog appearing → calm

getting out of the car → calm

walking through a busy environment → calm

playing → calm

That transition is incredibly important.

A dog that only behaves when nothing is happening hasn't been fully trained.

We want calm behaviour to become something the dog understands in many different environments.

Start Teaching Calm From the Beginning

With puppies, I like lots of very short training sessions rather than one long session.

Two minutes can be plenty.

You might do numerous tiny sessions throughout the day.

But here's the important part:

Not every training session should involve doing something exciting.

Some should involve learning to settle.

Your puppy needs to discover that being with you doesn't always mean entertainment.

Sometimes you simply sit together.

Sometimes the puppy lies beside you.

Sometimes you watch people walk past.

Nothing happens.

And that's exactly the point.

Exercise 1: The Boring Sit

This is almost ridiculously simple.

Take your puppy somewhere relatively quiet.

Sit down.

Have the puppy beside you on lead.

And then...

Do nothing.

Don't continuously talk to the puppy.

Don't keep patting it.

Don't repeatedly give commands.

Don't entertain it.

Allow the puppy to observe its surroundings.

Initially it may:

pull,

sniff,

whine,

move around,

look for entertainment,

or try to engage you.

That's okay.

You're giving the puppy an opportunity to work something out:

Nothing is happening right now, and that's okay.

When the puppy eventually relaxes, quietly acknowledge that calm behaviour.

Over time, increase the duration.

Exercise 2: The Café Exercise

Once your puppy understands calm behaviour at home, start taking the exercise into the real world.

A café can eventually become an excellent training environment.

The objective isn't for everyone at the café to meet your puppy.

It's almost the opposite.

You want your puppy learning:

“There are people everywhere, but I don't need to interact with them.”

Sit somewhere with the puppy safely beside you.

Keep the lead controlled without constantly pulling against it.

Let people move around.

Let cups clatter.

Let chairs move.

Let conversations happen.

Let the puppy observe.

Your job is to remain boring and calm.

Eventually you want the puppy to think:

“Apparently we're just sitting here.”

Perfect.

That's exactly what we're trying to teach.

Exercise 3: Calm Around People

Socialisation is frequently misunderstood.

People often think a well-socialised puppy needs to meet enormous numbers of people.

Not necessarily.

A puppy also needs to learn that people can exist without interacting with it.

That distinction becomes extremely important later.

If 100 people meet your puppy and every person crouches down, squeals, pats it and excites it, what might the puppy learn?

People = excitement.

Then six months later the owner wonders why the dog pulls toward every stranger.

Instead, practise walking past people.

Practise sitting while people pass.

Practise having conversations while your puppy waits.

Teach your puppy:

People are normal. You don't have to meet everyone.

Exercise 4: Calm Around Other Dogs

The same principle applies to dogs.

Socialisation does not mean your puppy needs to play with every dog it sees.

One of the most useful skills you can teach is:

seeing another dog and doing nothing.

Start at a distance where your puppy can notice another dog without becoming overwhelmed.

Reward attention back toward you.

Continue moving calmly.

Gradually reduce the distance over many sessions.

The goal isn't:

“DOG! LET'S PLAY!”

The goal becomes:

“There's another dog. That's normal.”

That is a much more useful response for everyday life.

Exercise 5: Use a Calm Older Dog

A good older dog can be enormously useful when training a puppy.

I use calm older dogs regularly.

For example, if I'm taking a puppy somewhere potentially stimulating, I may take an older dog that already understands exactly what is expected.

The puppy sees the older dog walking calmly.

It sees the older dog ignoring distractions.

It sees the older dog lying quietly.

Dogs learn from other dogs.

A stable adult dog can therefore help demonstrate:

“Nothing to worry about here.”

But choose the older dog carefully.

A highly reactive or overexcited dog can teach the opposite lesson.

Exercise 6: The Mat or Bed Exercise

Teach your puppy that a particular mat or bed means:

switch off.

Start at home.

Place the mat beside you.

Encourage the puppy onto it.

Quietly reward relaxed behaviour.

You aren't looking for military obedience.

You're looking for relaxation.

Eventually the mat itself can become an environmental cue.

Mat comes out.

Dog thinks:

“Okay. We're settling.”

Then take that mat into progressively more difficult environments.

Backyard.

Front yard.

Friend's house.

Quiet café.

Busy café.

Sporting event.

Holiday accommodation.

Different locations, same expectation.

Exercise 7: Stop During Walks

A walk doesn't have to involve continuous movement.

This is a fantastic exercise.

Walk for a while.

Then stop somewhere.

Ask nothing complicated from your dog.

Stand there.

The dog may initially wonder:

“Why have we stopped?”

Good.

Wait.

Allow the dog to settle.

Then continue walking.

This teaches something surprisingly powerful:

Movement doesn't continue simply because I want it to.

The owner controls the activity.

Exercise 8: Calm Before Getting Out of the Car

Cars can become enormous excitement triggers.

The car stops.

The dog knows where it is.

Suddenly:

whining,

panting,

jumping,

scratching,

barking,

rushing the door.

Don't make excitement the thing that opens the door.

Instead:

Car stops.

Wait.

When the dog settles, begin getting out.

If excitement immediately returns, slow the process down.

Over time the dog learns:

Calm behaviour makes things happen.

That lesson can transfer into many other areas of life.

Exercise 9: Calm Before Meals

Food gives you another everyday opportunity to practise emotional regulation.

Prepare the dog's meal.

If the dog is jumping and carrying on, don't rush to put the bowl down.

Wait for calm.

You don't necessarily need an elaborate obedience routine.

The lesson is simply:

Being frantic doesn't make the food arrive faster.

Calm behaviour does.

Exercise 10: Doorway Control

Doors are another wonderful training opportunity.

You don't want:

Door opens → dog explodes through it.

Instead:

Door opens slightly.

Dog waits.

If the dog pushes forward, the door closes.

Try again.

Calm behaviour opens the door.

Over time, you're developing something much bigger than doorway manners.

You're developing impulse control.

Exercise 11: Calm After Play

This is one of my favourites because it teaches the transition between emotional states.

Play with your puppy.

Have fun.

Let the puppy become appropriately excited.

Then finish.

Put the toy away.

Slow everything down.

Ask for calm.

Initially the puppy may keep trying to restart the game.

That's fine.

Eventually it learns:

Play can finish, and I can switch off afterwards.

This is an extremely useful life skill.

Exercise 12: The Puppy Pen

A puppy pen is one of the most useful tools you can have.

It shouldn't be punishment.

It should be the puppy's safe, boring place.

After training, playing, toileting and interacting with the family, the puppy can spend some time in its pen.

Give it an appropriate chew or something safe to occupy itself with if necessary.

Then leave it alone.

This teaches independence.

It also prevents puppies from becoming dependent on constant human or canine stimulation.

A puppy does not need to participate in everything happening in the household.

Learning to switch off is healthy.

Now We Stress-Proof the Training

This is where training becomes much more interesting.

A puppy that can lie calmly in your lounge room hasn't necessarily mastered calmness.

It has mastered calmness in your lounge room.

Dogs don't automatically generalise behaviour particularly well.

We need to progressively teach:

The same rules apply everywhere.

Think of calm training as having levels.

Level 1 — Home

Quiet room.

Minimal distraction.

Level 2 — Backyard

Birds, noises, smells and movement.

Level 3 — Front of the House

Cars, neighbours and pedestrians.

Level 4 — Quiet Public Environment

A quiet park or café.

Level 5 — Moderate Distraction

More people, dogs and environmental activity.

Level 6 — High Distraction

Busy café, sporting environment, town centre or other stimulating location.

Don't jump from Level 1 straight to Level 6.

Build the dog.

The Three Ds

When developing reliable behaviour, think about:

Distance

How close is the distraction?

A dog 50 metres away may be easy.

A dog five metres away may be difficult.

Duration

How long does your dog need to remain calm?

Thirty seconds may be easy.

Thirty minutes is different.

Distraction

How interesting is the environment?

Your lounge room and a children's sporting event are completely different challenges.

Don't dramatically increase all three simultaneously.

If you increase distraction, reduce duration.

If you're moving closer to something exciting, make the exercise easier.

Build progressively.

What Does Stress-Proofing Mean?

Stress-proofing doesn't mean deliberately frightening your dog.

It means progressively teaching the dog that its training still applies when the environment becomes more challenging.

Consider recall.

A puppy coming when called from three metres away in your kitchen is wonderful.

But that's not the finished behaviour.

Eventually the dog needs to respond around smells, people, movement and other appropriate distractions.

Calmness should be developed the same way.

Your dog should eventually understand:

“Even when exciting things are happening, I can still think.”

That's the real objective.

Learn to Recognise Your Dog's Threshold

There is a point where environmental stimulation becomes too much for a dog to process effectively.

You may notice:

• intense staring

• inability to disengage

• excessive panting

• pulling

• barking

• whining

• frantic movement

• repeatedly ignoring previously reliable cues

• inability to settle

At that point, simply demanding more obedience isn't necessarily productive.

Instead, make the exercise easier.

Increase distance.

Reduce the distraction.

Shorten the session.

Then build again.

Good training isn't about constantly making things harder.

It's about making things just difficult enough for the dog to succeed and learn.

Don't Accidentally Reward Excitement

Owners often unintentionally reinforce exactly the behaviour they're trying to stop.

Puppy jumps up.

Owner pats puppy.

Puppy pulls toward another dog.

Owner allows them to meet.

Puppy screams with excitement when arriving at the park.

Car door opens.

Puppy demands the ball.

Ball gets thrown.

From the dog's perspective, those behaviours worked.

Instead, begin making calmness the gateway to the things your dog wants.

Want the door opened?

Calm.

Want dinner?

Calm.

Want to get out of the car?

Calm.

Want the toy?

Calm.

Want to continue walking?

Calm.

Want interaction?

Calm.

Now calmness becomes valuable to the dog.

Structure Doesn't Damage Your Bond

This is something I believe very strongly.

People sometimes worry that giving a puppy boundaries or correcting inappropriate behaviour will damage their relationship.

Done fairly and appropriately, structure can do the opposite.

Dogs thrive when expectations are clear.

You can absolutely adore your dog while still having rules.

You can cuddle your puppy and still tell it when behaviour isn't acceptable.

You can have enormous fun together while still expecting manners.

Affection and discipline aren't opposites.

A great relationship includes:

trust + affection + communication + consistency + boundaries.

The dog understands you.

You understand the dog.

That's where a strong partnership develops.

Don't Mistake Excitement for Happiness

This is another important distinction.

The most excited dog isn't necessarily the happiest dog.

A dog that is constantly:

running,

jumping,

barking,

chasing,

playing,

demanding attention,

and looking for stimulation

may simply have become accustomed to living at a very high level of arousal.

One of the nicest things you can give a dog is the ability to be comfortable doing nothing.

A dog lying quietly beside its family isn't missing out.

It may be demonstrating one of the most valuable behaviours you've ever taught it.

Build the Dog You Want in Two Years

When raising a puppy, don't only think about the behaviour that's cute today.

Think:

Would I want my adult dog doing this?

A 9 kg puppy jumping on someone might be funny.

A 29 kg adult dog doing it isn't quite as funny.

A tiny puppy pulling toward every dog because it wants to say hello seems harmless.

An adult dog dragging you across the road isn't.

A puppy barking for attention may seem cute.

An adult dog demanding attention constantly becomes exhausting.

Puppyhood is where we're creating the habits of the adult dog.

Exceptional Dogs Are Created in Ordinary Moments

People often imagine great dogs are created during formal training sessions.

Some of that work certainly happens there.

But much of it happens during completely ordinary moments.

Waiting before going through the door.

Lying beside you while you drink coffee.

Ignoring another dog walking past.

Settling in the car.

Watching children play without joining them.

Relaxing while visitors arrive.

Stopping after an exciting game.

Walking through a busy environment without needing to investigate everything.

Waiting quietly for dinner.

Spending time alone without becoming distressed.

These moments don't look spectacular.

Nobody is filming them for social media.

But this is where exceptional dogs are created.

A Simple Weekly Calmness Challenge

Try deliberately practising calmness with your puppy every day.

You don't need hour-long sessions.

Short, successful exposures are often better.

Over a week you could practise:

Day 1: Five minutes settling beside you at home.

Day 2: Sit quietly in the front yard and watch the world.

Day 3: Short walk followed by five minutes doing nothing.

Day 4: Practise watching people from a comfortable distance.

Day 5: Practise seeing another dog without greeting it.

Day 6: Visit a quiet café or public location and settle.

Day 7: Repeat whichever environment your puppy found most difficult.

Then gradually make those exercises harder over the following weeks.

The aim isn't perfection.

It's progression.

Your Puppy Doesn't Need to Experience Everything at Once

There can be enormous pressure on new puppy owners to “socialise” their puppy as quickly as possible.

I would much rather have 20 positive, controlled experiences than 100 chaotic ones.

You are building your puppy's interpretation of the world.

Protect that process.

Choose appropriate dogs.

Choose appropriate people.

Choose appropriate environments.

Don't allow every stranger to excite your puppy.

Don't allow every dog to rush into its face.

Don't throw your puppy into situations it cannot cope with simply because somebody says it needs socialisation.

Exposure without guidance isn't necessarily good socialisation.

Good socialisation teaches the puppy how you want it to behave around the world.

Calmness Creates Freedom

This is the part people sometimes don't appreciate until their dog is older.

Training isn't about restricting a dog's life.

Good training creates freedom.

A dog that can settle can come to cafés.

A dog that can ignore other dogs can walk in more places.

A dog with impulse control can participate in more family activities.

A dog that travels calmly can come on holidays.

A dog that can lie quietly while people are around can be included rather than constantly separated.

A dog with reliable training can eventually be given freedoms that an uncontrolled dog simply cannot safely have.

That's why I put so much emphasis on puppy training.

You're not training for the next six weeks.

You're training for the next 10–15 years.

Genetics Give Us the Foundation. Training Builds the Dog.

As breeders, we can work incredibly hard on temperament.

We can select dogs for trainability.

We can select for confidence.

We can expose puppies appropriately.

We can start their education.

We can give them the strongest possible foundation.

But once that puppy goes home, the next stage begins.

Even the most beautifully bred puppy still needs guidance.

Think of genetics as giving you the raw material.

Training determines what you build with it.

The puppy that wants to please you still needs boundaries.

The confident puppy still needs guidance.

The naturally calm puppy still needs its behaviour reinforced.

The highly intelligent puppy may need even more structure because it learns unwanted behaviours just as quickly as desirable ones.

The Dog Everyone Wants

Eventually, something interesting happens.

Your puppy grows up.

You take your dog somewhere busy.

People walk past.

Dogs walk past.

Children run around.

Food is on the table.

There are noises everywhere.

And your dog simply lies beside you.

Someone eventually says:

“Wow. You're so lucky to have such a calm dog.”

You'll probably smile.

Because you'll know something they don't.

They are seeing the finished product.

They didn't see the hundreds of tiny training sessions.

They didn't see you sitting on a bench doing absolutely nothing.

They didn't see the doorway exercises.

The café training.

The puppy pen.

The controlled exposures.

The recalls.

The boundaries.

The times you moved further away because your puppy wasn't ready.

The thousands of times you rewarded the behaviour you wanted and refused to reinforce the behaviour you didn't.

They see a naturally wonderful dog.

You see the work that created one.

Because truly exceptional dogs aren't simply found.

Exceptional dogs are created.